VI.
"In Praise To Flames": Alzeki, 4/16/4002-B
There are some things in my teachings which are accepted, and some which are not. All accept the topics which we discuss most often; togetherness, family, recovery. All accept that we must have a god in our lives, and all accept that I am a chosen vessel for the goddess Almendra, who speaks the past, present, and future all through my own mouth, as will all others in time. Less people will accept that She is the only proper god or goddess, the only who is still known to walk this Earth and who is known to love Her subject, but again they will accept this in time. So too will they accept that ours is the one true family, that ours are the truest bonds. Few will accept, on first contact, that this world outside our walls is not just lacking, that it is - in its entirety - empty, hollow, worthless. Even fewer will accept, in fact none are ready to accept, the solution to this in its vicious totality - the cleansing fury of the Pale Flame. Well today, my children, we praise the Pale Flame and all it shall do for us.
By M-Bot's clock, it was a little after midnight now. We were camped in our vehicle just outside the village Hetod hid in. This village was well off the beaten path, and in my eyes seemed rather primitive. It had maybe fifty clay-brick houses, a good amount of farmland, and was built up right beside a small river. Only one of these houses was lit up; our book's coordinates weren't granular enough to pinpoint exactly where Hetod was, but we figured it was there. Because Hetod lived in a populated area we wanted to keep a lower profile, and so only Maine and M-Bot would enter his home. I had put together some basic equipment to keep us in touch during the mission - we would speak to each other with low-quality audio transmitters, and a black-and-white screen would show what M-Bot saw. I had put this together mostly with equipment packed beforehand, also using a few scraps found on the trail. Outside our town there were much fewer roaming electronics, so whenever we came across one (or the remains of one) I would chase it, deactivate it, and store it for situations like this.
I would like to point your attention, my children, to the dead robotics which habitate this town. Where do these all come from? Do they crawl out the ground, fall out the sky, spawn from the ether? No such thing - they come across the water, floating on the sea from the so-called immortal city, now dead and damned! When it lived it whipped itself into a frenzy producing steel trash, and now it lives on as a zombie, its garbage infesting our streets! Oh, I hear you - they have grown to co-exist with us, yes, but think as I think for a second, refuse compromise! Resources have been brought, soaked in the blood of slave labor, to that city to be processed, and this processing involved even more blood, the blood of workers and the blood of Gaia, and after this these processed products - what did people do with them? Nothing! They sat unused and useless, and eventually drifted like cyanide into our mother's mouth before landing on our shores, cluttering our beaches and trying to overtake our town. Oh yes, they tried to - and we fought them off! Tell me, my children, what does this all say about the world?
Once the screen was set up, we had M-Bot zoom his vision in to look through the windows of the lit-up house. The walls and floor were barren, but we could see a fancy black leather couch and a man pacing about the room. He wore a black suit, had short blonde hair, and looked middle-aged or just above.
"Same age, same clothes, same wrinkles from stress," Maine said, "Looks like a pretty safe bet."
"Sure does," Matt responded, "so y'think you're ready to break in there?"
"Can't wait," M-Bot replied. Maine nodded in agreement. They were both dressed in baggy black clothes, hoods pulled up to cover their faces. In the night, they would be more or less invisible. We had settled into a routine by this point, and the only ones still nervous were F.P. and I.
"The communications should be fully operational too," I said, "how does everything feel, M-Bot?"
"I don't particularly like that you know how to do this," It replied.
"Uh, sorry. But physically?"
"Oh. It's perfect. I can hardly even feel it."
They stepped out the vehicle and stalked towards the house.
I'll tell you what it says, my children! All this blood has been poured into the creation of dead matter, these lifeless electronic things, and for what? For its own sake! It is self-insistent, this continuous creation of dead matter, an act of worship towards the void itself, and it extends far beyond that 'immortal city'! Outside these walls is naught but worship to Z - power insisting on itself, exploiting the weak and shredding humanity's traditional bonds! In every king, every mayor, every businessman, is a sucking void dragging them and everyone around them to the holding chambers of Death! I am the only true shephard, the only who cares for my people, and outside these walls is only exploitation, only corrupt shephards who lead their flock into the maws of the wolves!
We huddled around the screen and watched as Maine and M-Bot reached Hetod's home. Maine used a lockpick to open its back door, and the two of them snuck in. It was a small three-room house, and they had walked into a barebones kitchen. They walked forwards, and the living room was barebones as well. It had two leather couches, a table with a wine bottle and filled glass, and a television set. As they were looking around, the bathroom door opened and Hetod walked out, quickly freezing as he realized what was happening, M-Bot pointing its gun at him.
This is the world as it exists - brutally violent and utterly pointless! It is a hollow world, lacking in all value. It is without spirit. It is without morality. It is without tradition! It punishes the weak, exorcises the kind, and disregards the elderly! It is not just a useless world, but a wasted world - an empty space where another could exist, a world like the one we have built in this town! A world where all humanity is one large family, a world just like ours!
"I see I have guests," Hetod deadpanned.
"Indeed you do," Maine responded, "and we have a few questions we'd like to ask. First, is there any reason we shouldn't kill you?"
"Ah. I suppose you are the men who've been killing my colleagues," Hetod said, grimly smiling. "May I myself ask who sent you?"
"We've been sent by the goddess Almendra."
"Would it be a good enough reason to spare my life if I were to hear you out and convert?"
I tapped into the microphone and said, wary of my own words: "Don't bother."
Many of us, I am sure, would be content to survive in our own little world, safe in a bubble without touching the outside. In my view, this is not enough. Many, then, would say we should go out and convert, and try and change the world peacefully; again, this is not enough, not nearly enough. No, my children, there is only one proper response, one proper course of action that is to be taken.
"Let me put it this way: we know you and your former associates have an alert system set up. We also know that, because Delth and Ethae have failed to maintain their alarms, you and the others know that we're after you. If we let you stay alive, would they still think they were in danger?" Maine asked.
"Oh, absolutely. Oddity is the most paranoid out of all of us! Nightshade's no sucker either," Hetod replied.
"Then we can negotiate for your life later. First, I'd like you to sit down on that couch and answer a few questions, unless you want my friend here to end negotiations early."
"I catch your drift," Hetod said nonchalantly as he sat down, "so what happened to the others? How did they go down? I'm curious to know."
"Delth went down like an asshole. Ethae killed himself." M-Bot answered.
"See, that just makes sense for both of them. Would you like some wine, either of you? Help yourselves!" Hetod offered, before sipping from his wine glass on the table.
This course of action is not acceptance; for why should we accept such a flawed, demonic world? Neither is this course of action redemption; there is no redemption for such a world! No, no, no. There is only one proper course of action, and it is complete and total destruction. This is the meaning of the Pale Flame, an inferno which will burn the world to ash, which will enact righteous vengeance on this world of sin! Yes, my children, this is the only true and just path; it is this and nothing else.
"No thanks. Now we already know the basics of who you are and how your organization worked. Mainly, we'd like to ask for any information you have on Cardo. We know that he used to work in your organization, that he eventually destroyed it, and that he is now attempting to end the world. Is there anything you'd like to add to this?" Maine asked. I had written down a short list of questions on the way here and was reciting them into the microphone, with Maine repeating them. He was pretty good at this already, but I'd given him a more formalized script to avoid any mistakes.
"You already know most of what there is to know about him, then. He was a strange man. There are a few types of people you'll meet in this line of work - all violent, of course, but different types. Most are either crude men like Delth or businessmen such as myself; both are in it for the money, differentiated by the level of enjoyment. I joined because I came from nothing and needed a living, and all things considered it was certainly worth it. Delth, on the other hand, really could've done anything else and saved a lot of trouble, don't you think?" Hetod went on in a cool, charismatic monotone. He had a confidence about him that suggested a plan, and as he talked I told them to watch for any sudden movements.
"Then, finally, you have men like Cardo who have a void inside them that can only be filled, it seems, with blood and guts. Their lives would never go any other way, and it's a miracle if they survive at all. He was adopted into the business at age fourteen, and was a very precocious young man, climbing the ranks quickly and happily. His office had shelves lined with skulls."
The megacities must be burned, the people in their buildings must be burned, the machines they use must be burned! The towns must be burned, their corrupt mayors must be burned, their sinful townspeople must be burned! The dirty animals must be burned, the corrupted worker must be burned, the face of the Earth must itself burn! The rich and the poor, the master and the slave, the ruler and the worker, all must burn, for it is only after complete and utter destruction that we can begin something new, only when nothing remains that we can build our proper and just world! We must have a blank slate, and only the Pale Flame will provide this - and oh, do not be led astray, for it certainly will! It has all been told to me already by Almendra!
"Which of these would you say Zsuius fits into?" M-Bot asked.
"Him? Oh, I see. He was the one who sent you all, wasn't he?" Hetod asked back with a slight smirk. "Don't worry, and don't try to deny it. We can keep talking. You should really know, though, that he fits into that last category. He hides it well, but he's a man who in truth has no moral compass to speak of! Cardo particularly has it out for him - put two of those types together and they never get along, really."
"But he's been helping us this whole time!" I exclaimed, taken aback. Maine repeated what I said.
"And why wouldn't he? You want to kill Cardo, Zsuius wants to get out from under him. If he can settle some scores with us along the way, even better! But, ah-" he paused, "you're aware why he's been chasing Bolthro, aren't you?"
"Why's that?" Maine asked.
"Well, the two of them used to work together. One day, they were on a mission to retreive something for Cardo, a ring that gave the wearer some kind of death magic. Zsuius was planning to steal it, and wear it, and do all kinds of things with it, but Bolthro stole it first and brought it back to Cardo. After that, Zsuius had to go into hiding, and Bolthro became the golden boy. I must ask, are they still working together?"
"Sure are," M-Bot responded. I gulped and sat back in my chair. Zsuius wasn't trying to stop Bolthro, he was just trying to get the ring himself. What the hell were we going to do now if we met him again? Were we going to have to kill him, too? Matt gave me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.
Yes, in truth it matters not what any individual one of you thinks of this, my children, no matter if you think it is too drastic, too harsh, too violent. It is the simple nature of the Pale Flame, and not something any of us - even I! - can change. When I tune in to the prophecy, it is revealed to me that all these things, the burning and ultimate destruction of the world and its glorious rebirth, have already happened in the future! We are on a fixed path - there is nothing you or I can do but to enact its inevitable will, and to find meaning and truth in its wonderful course. We must allow our bodies and souls themselves to be cleansed by the Flame, and so we will be spared and find the most beautiful transcendence in this violent finality!
"Well, regardless, there's one other major question we'd like to ask. We know your organization was involved in more than just simple assassinations, but was also involved in deeper political events. What sort of things did you really do, here?" I asked through Maine.
Hetod snorted. "What, really? You want to know about a bunch of old political crap? It's already been done, why should you care? Come on, let's just talk about how we're going to get out of here. You want a ransom for my life, yes?"
"No," Maine said, "we'd really like to know." M-Bot cocked the rifle, and Hetod sighed and sat back.
"Fine, if it'll end this sooner," he said, drinking more wine.
You must stare into the Flame, must be transfixed by the way it burns, must transcend your corrupt mortal forms by its immortal glory! You must let the fire spread through you, must let it sear your vision, burn your body, incinerate your mind. You must become a mirror of it, must become its perfect weapon. You must embody the Pale Flame!
"There are a lot of stories I could tell, all quite long. We were an effective group who took a great deal of contracts and turned down very few, and so had a hand in events all around the region. Most of these would be minor by our standards, and likely by your standards as well. We would assassinate candidates for office in small and medium-sized towns all across here. If the contract was good enough we would take out mayors, commit deeper political sabotage, travel out for hundreds of miles to finish the job. These were the standard jobs, the chores. Local affairs. Not much fun, really. There were some bigger jobs here and there, but what really held our attention - what I'm sure you're really asking about - was a case in Purgax, the 'Immortal City', as it was called. That was a hotbed if we'd ever seen one, and it only took one big contract there for us to keep being pulled in. It started with just taking out one candidate - anti-corruption, if you can believe it - and after that, word got around. We'd been recommended! Then we were taking out candidates, officials, businesspeople, celebrities, even the simple grudge targets of the rich. Finally, we got one very long-lasting contract there, one that was renewed every single month. It was a businessman who wanted complete control of his employees, to turn them into simple cogs in a machine, the way things used to be in the Golden Ages. We were hired to assassinate his employees who stepped too far out of line, who tried to push back against him, who were just no good. To take out the trash, in other words. People got suspicious, and we assassinated them too. Politicians tried to look at it, and again we assassinated them. It's a wonder anybody was left alive, you might think! Well, in fact, eventually the contract did bring the whole thing down. A civil war broke out and the whole city-state collapsed - all under the weight of this one man's ambition. It was a shame, because we all had quite a lot of fun doing something so interesting, being such a part of history; making so much money! Was it all worth it? Yes. I would do it again in a heartbeat. He was a fellow businessman, and I was happy to work with him. Certainly kept the freaks occupied, too. Don't you think it might be better if Cardo was still kept on a leash like that, instead of let out like a rabid dog? In the end, though, I suppose our business model was self-defeating. When Zsuius starts his own company, I'm sure he'll improve on that."
You must, I repeat, you must let the Flame consume you entirely for even just one single moment, and then and only then will you understand what I speak of. You must let the Flame consume your heart, your brain, your body; you must let it consume your love; you must let it consume your thoughts; you must let it consume your very needs; you must eat it, drink it; you must let it consume the way you see your fellow man; you must let it consume the way you think of your fellow man; you must let it consume every other fellow man; you must let it consume entirely your senses, your sight, your hearing, your taste, your smell, your touch; you must let it become your sixth sense, the compass that guides your world, that grows to define everything about you and burns all else to the ground! There is no other way than the path of totality; there are no points at which you may stop; you must complete the path, or else become ash. You must narrow your focus until it is all that exists in the world, until it is the only thing which has ever existed, all that ever will exist, stretching from the beginning to the end of time. It is only once you have done this, once you have achieved this totalized state, lost yourself in meditation and dove down the endless corridor until you have finally reached total bliss for the briefest of moments, that you will finally understand the true nature of the world, the true nature of being itself. And it is only once you have done this that you may begin your purpose and become the Flame's loyal vessel.
"You're a sick man," Maine said harshly.
"Don't escalate," I whispered.
"If you want to see a sick man, go meet up with that boss of yours," Hetod responded. "I'm surprised you didn't know already - he was a braggart back in the day."
M-Bot tuned into the microphone and spoke directly to us, "When can we kill him?"
"I- You shouldn't. It could be dangerous!" I replied.
"Odhte is already gone, he said earlier. It doesn't make a difference. I don't think he deserves to live."
"But what 'bout Nightshade? What if he hasn't caught on yet?" Matt chimed in.
"I guess. I won't shoot yet, then."
Maine breathed in and asked, his voice returning to a disarming detachment, "Tell me, what else have you done? A businessman like you surely wouldn't stop at just murder."
"Oh, of course not. It was our primary trade, of course, but if a client asked we were willing to commit many crimes. Robbery, arson, kidnapping - we would do anything for the right price, and I've come out rather well for it, don't you think? Anything for the right price!" Hetod's voice was picking up, and he was beginning to rant. "Do you want to know something about the world, you deluded pricks? This is all it is! This is all it ever was!"
And once you have done this, once you have let the Flame fully consume you, let it become you, let it define you, there is only one thing left for you. It is very simple - you must simply wait for it to direct you, and once it has directed you, you must fulfill its wishes, no matter the cost. A true acolyte will not give such things even a second thought.
"There is only one god in the world, and its name is money! There is only one real motivation we all follow, and it is money! There is only one thing worth chasing - what the hell do you think it is? Money! It's all there is to it. Anything else is completely delusional to how people actually behave."
"That's not true at all!" I exclaimed. Maine repeated it and added, "What about power?" Hetod chuckled.
"Money... is power... is money. They're the same damn thing. Money gives you power, power gives you money, you hang on to one and you hang on to the other. Of course, if you really can only keep one, what do you keep? Would you rather be the strongest bum or the richest sucker? What I've seen is, people always choose the latter. When I offer your ransom, you'll take it, and you'll let me live. Why? For the money!"
"But there are multiple reasons people want power. People want it for money, but they also want it for religion and ideology. Haven't you seen people like that?" M-Bot asked.
A true acolyte must do whatever is required of them, whatever even is requested of them. When the time comes, do not shrink away from your destiny. Instead rejoice, my children - your destiny is glorious!
"Ah, your voice - are you a robot? How impressive! What you two don't see is that those things, religion, ideology, they're just fronts. In the end, they are simply means to power, ways for people to justify to themselves why they want what they want. The strongest people are the most honest, the ones who know what they want, why they want it, how to get it. The strong-willed men who take it all for themselves!" Hetod ranted.
"It's not a good world they create," Maine said.
"No, it's not. But it's just how the world is. The idea you can change it is delusional - people have been doing things like what I've done for thousands of years, probably since the beginning of time. It's wired into us. We want power, and the way the world is, that means we want money! How can you blame me for following my instincts?"
"If it's instinctual, then why haven't I done it? Why don't I feel it?"
Hetod smirked and drank the rest of his wine.
"Well, if you're really being honest - maybe you're just broken."
When the time comes for you to fulfill your destiny, and it will, make no mistake, you cannot, will not shy away. The future has been predetermined - all time exists at once!
Hetod shifted back into the couch, satisfied with his diatribe.
"Now, let's stop acting like children. Be reasonable - what do you want from this? We'd both like to keep our lives, after all. I have a great deal of money, and I'm prepared to pay the ransom. I know you want the ransom. It's what we all want. It'll be yours, no funny business. Just say the word."
When the Pale Flame calls, you will answer. When the Pale Flame flares, you will burn. And when the Pale Flame hands you the gun...
Maine gave M-Bot a nod.
You will shoot!
I turned away as it shot Hetod. The noise was deafening through the transmitters. Looking down, blinking quickly, my body was shaking. Maine was saying something to me, but I didn't pick up what it was, and my hand went without orders to take off my earpiece.
"I-I have to go for a walk," I muttered, already stepping out of the vehicle. I thought about stopping and sitting just outside it, but my legs kept walking. The moon was covered by clouds, but my eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness as I walked through the empty fields. I touched my face and felt tears. I didn't understand why I felt this way - or maybe I did, and just didn't want to accept it. I thought I was stronger after what had happened with Ethae. Closing my eyes, I walked blindly ahead, quickening my pace. The grass was tall and I focused on the feeling of it brushing against my legs, of my feet rising and falling from the grasses as they clung onto me, the shuffling and soft crunching sounds. Cicadas buzzed loudly and the sound felt like it was right next to my ears. It was a hot July night after all, and they were out in swarms. The heat was oppressive - back in the Town we had a dry heat, but here it was humid and the air felt horribly thick. I moved faster anyways, still not opening my eyes. I hoped nobody had started to follow me yet - maybe I could just leave this all and be done with it. No. No! How could I do that, I thought? It just didn't seem right, but none of this seemed right. I knew this was all supposed to happen, but nothing Alzeki had said or done had ever prepared me for what it would actually be like carrying out the will of the Flame. How stupid I was, pushing for us to continue after that first encounter with Zsuius - and how stupid we were to trust him! What if he had given us that book in the first place, I thought, what if we really were just doing his bidding? No, I shouldn't trust anything Hetod said after hearing his rants, that garbage filling our ears. What a bitter man, what a pointless life! And yet I felt - I opened my eyes and in the corner of my periphery saw my shadow grinning at me, accusing me. Murderer! It was all for a good reason, was all for a better purpose, don't blame me! I moved towards the demon, running now, but it slipped away into a tree as though it were made of air. I punched the bark until my knuckles bled, and then gave it a few more punches with the other fist. I was really crying, now. And why? Because we had done a good deed? Because we had killed someone who deserved to die, who should have been dead a long time ago? Because we finally ended a worthless life? All life is worthless! The shadow whispered, Don't you get it? Yours is too! I didn't want to hear any more. I hated it, hated my shadow. I ran from the tree, sprinting in terror until the clouds parted and the glorious Moon shone out in full force, its pale furious light blazing down upon me, the manifestation in nature of Almendra's glory and evidence of her eternal form.
I stared at the Moon, admired all the craters and marks on Her face. Despite the pain, the destruction, the desolation, She was still the most beautiful thing in the sky. The Sun gave us life, but She gave us purpose. The stars were out in full force tonight. Back in the Town, we hardly ever got to see the stars - there was almost always a cloud of smog over it from the fireplaces we used, and often smog from the city across the lake mixed in with it. The only thing in the sky that could shine through would always be the Moon. Now, it was like finally waking up from a dream. The stars were bright and plentiful, and the arm of the galaxy shed its holy rays. The stars twinkled in rhythm. Suddenly, the sky seemed to fade out back into a deep blackness, but still I stared in wonder. A circular string of lights showed themselves above me. The lights were a pale blue, and each was itself circular. They spun in the air at a steady speed, the circle growing and shrinking as they gracefully danced in free-flowing, hypnotic patterns. The dance became more intense, the lights meeting at the center as they pulsed in and out in a fast spiral. I stared in awe. The lights met and took the form of a glowing angel, who appeared before me. She had long flowing hair and large bird's wings. The angel kindly, silently smiled and turned me around. I saw Matt approaching us in the distance. I walked out to meet him, but then turned back - the angel was gone. Before I could process this, Matt ran to my side and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Sef, y'alright?" He asked.
"...Yeah. Sorry, I don't know what got into me," I answered after a pause. My voice was weak, and it was difficult to get the words out.
"Really? You seemed pretty messed up. Y'know we can talk about it, right?"
"Yeah, yeah. I know, it's just... I don't know if I'm cut out for this! I really thought this whole time that I was, well, made for this, because we're supposed to be, right? But it doesn't feel like that at all. I don't like what I'm becoming, Matt. Before we left my life was completely normal, and now..."
"Sheltered, y'mean?" He said a bit playfully.
"Yeah, sheltered. And this is just... I don't- just the pictures, you know? The sights. It's awful. They keep flashing in my head. I feel like I'm doing something awful."
Matt smiled. "Hey, it doesn't feel great for me, either. It's just what we gotta do. You know that! You were practically the one most excited for it, remember? When we got outta that last meeting with Ethae you were saying all kinds'a stuff..."
"I know. That's what feels so weird! It feels like I was just... lying to myself. I want to... I want to get out of this before it's my finger on the trigger. I can't go back after doing something like that. Actually killing someone. Matt..." My voice broke up. "Can I leave? Is it too late already?"
Matt sighed. "We need you, Sef. I'm sorry, but we do. It's not just about what y'can do, the robots, it's... I mean, we just need you! I don't know what I'd do without you here, and I definitely don't know what Maine'd do... Poor guy would go crazy losin' you!" He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. "C'mon, Sef. Stay."
His body was warm. I leaned into the hug. "I know, but..." I started.
"Yeah, I know too. It ain't good for any of us, doing this. Y'know it doesn't matter, though. You said it yourself, way near the start of all this - there are things more important than our individual lives, Sef. I know it hurts, but y'know it'll hurt even more if you leave, too." He squeezed the hug tighter. "And as long as you're here, I'll be here, and I'll do everythin' I can to make it better."
"Promise?" I asked.
"Promise."
I didn't say anything for a minute. Matt eased up on the hug and didn't say anything, giving me time to think things through.
"Alright, Matt. You're right. And... there are things I need in all this, too. I can't just let my shadow haunt me forever... and I can't just stay sheltered forever. I want to do something for the world, but more than that I want to do something for... well, for you and Maine."
Matt smiled and ruffled my hair.
"There we go," he said, "now c'mon, let's get back to everyone. Those three were busy buryin' that bastard but they've been waitin' for a minute now, and I think we all just wanna get the hell outta here."
I looked at the sky, and the stars and Moon were all back, smiling down upon us. We retraced our steps to the vehicle and drove off.
In the book, the names of Delth, Ethae, and Hetod had gone red. Their coordinates were blacked out.
At ease, my children. We shall rest, now, and prepare for the coming days.